awkward ex-husband

by Julie
(PA)


I'm planning a family dinner out for my daughter's college graduation. I'm remarried and have been for three years; my ex-husband does not want my present husband to attend the dinner, claiming it would be awkward for him, as the two have not yet met.

I want to be gracious, but would like my husband to be there to celebrate with us. He and my daughter have a good relationship.

Do good manner stipulate that I give in to my ex-husband's request?

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The Blended Family
by: Ms P Etiquette

Dear Julie~

In today's blended families, issues like this frequently surface, forcing etiquette to be a bit flexible as we all find our way!

Since the celebration is for your daughter and not your ex-husband, it is good manners to invite those people you think she would like at her special dinner. If you think she will enjoy both her father's and step-father's company, then invite both of them. It is up to the invited guest to decide whether or not to accept your invitation. If this gathering is important to her father, he should be adult enough to come, even if he is uncomfortable.

There will be more important family celebrations in the future involving both men. Now is the time to set the protocol or you will be forever trying to appease others feelings. That is a lot of work. And one day it could make her wedding very awkward.

Good luck and congratulations, Mom

Ms Practical Etiquette

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