Better to Give than to Receive

by Brittany
(Virginia)

A boxed bottle of Gucci No. 3 Eau du Parfum was given to an acquaintance. Several hours later she called me to tell me she thought it smelled funny and that she went to the mall and discovered the one I gave her - unbeknownst to me, was counterfeit. She told me she didn't like it and she intends to return it to me.



Where do I begin? Who does this?
Whenever anyone offers you anything, the proper thing to do is graciously accept it (as long as it isn't drugs or stolen goods) even if it isn't something of preference not under any circumstances do you complain about it! It is a gift, be it an orange slice or a flower from a child, not all gifts are wrapped and presented as such. Even a smile can be a gift. If the gift received is not of your liking and there is the opportunity to exchange it, that is completely fine. What is not fine is telling the gift giver that you don't like and/or you want to give it back, or you plan to throw it away. It is not gracious, it is not classy, it is just so rude and offensive!

It is amazing that, how to receive a gift with class and grace; even needs to be explained. DO NOT complain about the gift AND you DO NOT tell the giver your intentions to return the item to the giver because you don't like it! Look at it this way, someone took time out of their life/schedule to be thoughtful of the recipient, possibly spend money on the recipient's gift (if it wasn't homemade) and take the time to present the gift to the recipient in hopes they will be pleased.
I am in complete shock over the audacity and arrogance portrayed by the recipient!

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Addendum to It is Better to Give than Receive
by: Anonymous

Whoever mentioned that it is improper etiquette to make someone feel uncomfortable about the situation, you are exactly right and my emotions got the best of me. I was very wrong in that manner.

For the person who mention not to use improper language, I didn't mean to write that, I thought that, but didn't mean to write it. I meant its true definition one being of ignorance but that doesn't make it right. Again I allowed my emotions get the best of me. So thank you for bringing that to my attention.

These two ladies, sisters, I write about were brought up in an entirely different environment than I. I need to remind myself of that. It isn't their fault they were not taught manners and it is not my job to teach them. I need to stop getting mad at them for expecting them to do what I believe is proper. It is my issue and not theirs. So I need not be so arrogant and gain work on becoming more humble and less emotional.

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Etiquette and Friends
by: PE Owner

Dear PE Reader,

I understand your disappointment, but etiquette works both ways. I am not suggesting that what your friend did is correct, but perhaps you also need to take a step back and review the situation. Etiquette dictates that we do not make others uncomfortable. At the same time, there is no sense trying to change that which is unchangeable. Perhaps you should move on at this point, because you will only put your self in more bad situations.

I would also ask that you please refrain from using improper language on this site. We believe in helping and passing it forward. Using derogatory language towards another doe snot help the situation.

Kind regards,
Dan

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Shocked
by: Anonymous

I am the author of this "Better to Receive than to Give" and I am quite astonished by the arrogance portrayed by the recipient. I talked with her later and gently spoke of the proper etiquette without moving Hell and Heaven. She asked me not to "school her" about gifts and presents. I am a very, very generous person she said, can you believe it, "buy me a toaster oven instead," I could not believe she was putting in an order. I guess I should not be surprised because I gave her sister a really nice winter coat, brand new w/ tags, that didn't go over well and her daughter told me she needed a coat with a hoodie.

Obviously these people are "trying" to take advantage of of my good nature and generosity. Needless to say, the sister did not receive the coat with a hood or did her mom receive the brand new J Crew coat.

Additionally I was visiting the mother and while I was there the mother ran out of diapers for one of her children. I, reluctant, went to the store and purchased diapers and wipes (they are definitely poverty stricken) for the baby. After I returned, not 15 minutes later, the daughter called me (funny, she couldn't go out and get the diapers while I was there) and ordered me not to come over to see her mom, not to help her dying mom (her kids treated her poorly - I befriended her because my mom died of the same issue. Her daughter did not offer to pay me back for the diapers. I am not racist at all. I have several African American friends, my brother is Japanese but the definition of *deleted by website owner* fits like a glove in addition to being ignorant.

Of course I was upset that the mother did not stand up to the daughter because she doesn't have any friends. She is dying, and dying all by herself.

Thanks for reading this, it is a lot and a pain. I appreciate any comments you may leave.

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