Brother of the Groom

by Steve
(Delaware)



My brother's fiance has a terrible relationship with her family. He has asked me to witness his wedding at the justice of the peace but does not intend to invite my wife or our mother. Should I say no?

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A Difficult Dilemma
by: Miss P Etiquette

Nothing brings out family problems like a wedding. I am so sorry that you find yourself in this dilemna. Think of this as a problem to be solved instead of a family squabble so you can find an answer.

But there are many salient questions upon which the solution may depend:

Why your wife and mother are excluded? Does your brother have a good relationship with them? Do you have a close relationship with your brother? Has his fiancé met your family? If so, has your family embraced her relationship with your brother?

Do your wife and mother know they are excluded? If so, what was their reaction? Have they asked you not to witness your brother's marriage ceremony?

Without knowing the relevant details, guidance is very difficult. There actually is no etiquette involved here, just common sense and what is in your heart. The wedding is central in your brother's life. Therefore, he and his fiancé are at the center of your decision. You must do what you think is right while realizing you cannot please everyone. If, after some soul searching, you find an answer that you feel is the correct thing for you to do, then do it with confidence.


Good luck,

Miss Practical Etiquette



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