Cinderella not Invited to the Bridal Shower

I have two sisters and a mother. One of my sisters and my mother are hosting a bridal shower for my cousin who is my mother's sister's daughter. I did not get invited to the bridal shower. However, the bride to be invited my younger sister. The reasons for a 'no' invite told to me were; I was never closed to the bride to be, large gap in age difference and didn't want me to feel obligated to send a gift. I know the majority of ladies attending the shower simply because they are related to me. The funny thing is the majority of the invitees have little contact to no contact with the bride to be. Also , I personally have never had an issue or problem with my cousin or her mother. As a child I was very close to my aunt, spent the night at her house, vacations together.. I actually thought they liked me.. I guess not.. My question is: was it rude for the bride to be to exclude me since it is my sister and mother hosting the event? I certainly don't harbor any ill feelings. I'll send a gift for sure. But I'll stay home and sweep the house.

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Perhaps ... Ask?
by: Ms P Etiquette

Dear Cinderella,

Family etiquette.... always a little troublesome! Whether or not it is was good manners for your aunt and cousin to exclude you from the guest list can depend on many factors. In your situation, it seems that the bride and her mother used poor judgement when they decided not to include you in an important family affair, knowing this would hurt you. And they did not communicate with you directly so you have the added discomfort of speculating the reason for such an action. Yes, in this case it was at the least thoughtless and perhaps even rude. That is never good manners.


One additional thought - you may want to consider asking them why at some point in the future. Doing so would not be too gauche since you are all family. It's just a small suggestion.

Good luck!
Ms Practical Etiquette

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