Death day of my son

by Anonymous
(Canada)

I have been married for six years. My current husband had never met my son. My son died in a car accident shortly after me and my current husband started dating. It has been ten years today, April 30, since my son died and my current husband has never made a point of even acknowledging the day. I know they never met, but he was with me at his funeral. I feel like my husband does not care about me enough to even buy me some flowers or even ask me how I am doing. Today he was out of town and did not even call to say he was thinking about me. It really hurt. Am I wrong to feel this way?

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Feelings on the Situation
by: Ms P Etiquette

Dear Anonymous Canadian,

Your feelings are neither right or wrong. These are your feelings. Pretty simple, really. I sense you have wanted this acknowledgement of your precious son over the years culminating in the 10th anniversary of his death, but it has not happened. Your husband may not be aware of the importance to you. Even though you feel it deeply, he may not understand. Remember, these are your strong feelings, not his. It would be unfair to both of you if you decide he loves you less because he cannot read your mind. Please tell him how significant this day is/was to you. Ask him if he can help you memorialize the anniversary because you wish to share your love of your son with him. He may not understand at first, but he will never have a clue if you don't give him the chance to try.

Ms. Practical Etiquette

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