Glum about Grandpa's Girlfriend

by Beth
(Canada)

My husband and I are almost divorced, and I tried to be kind to his new girlfriend. She talked about me behind my back and snubbed me. I accept that, but we live in a small town and everyone I know also seems to know her.

How do we handle family events? We have several children, all are married and have children of their own. I would prefer that my ex-husband's girlfriend not be at family gatherings as that is uncomfortable for me and I don't think she's genuine with my grand kids. Am I allowed to ask that she not be at family events?

I love my family completely. I'd like to enjoy the family I've cared for over the past 40 years. The new girlfriend hasn't put in any effort, yet she wants to reap the benefits of my husband's money and family.

What is the etiquette for family gatherings? May I ask that she not be present when I am there?
Signed,
Glum about Grandpa's Girlfriend

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Relationships
by: Ms P Etiquette

Dear Glum,

After 40 years of shared family, children and grandchildren it is understandable that you feel as you do. In this situation, your discomfort is due to the action of another, namely your former husband. It is acceptable for you to discuss this with your ex partner, asking him to accomodate your wishes. Once he hears your appeal and the reasons for it, he may or may not accede to your request. I imagine the outcome depends upon the flavor of the relationship you two now share. Unfortunately, you have no control over the outcome.


Practical etiquette asks that you make the best of it by avoiding a scene, not engaging in gossip or otherwise causing others discomfort at family gatherings. Tall order, isn't it.

I wish you peace and luck.


Ms Practical Etiquette

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