how do I respond

My husband passed away this past month - and his wishes were no services, memorials, etc. So our friends from out of town are not aware of his death and I am receiving christmas cards from them....how do I respond.

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Passing
by: Ms P Etiquette

Dear Recent Widow,

Did your husband expect his death to remain a secret or did he just ask you to forego formal services? Certainly it is polite for you to respond to your friends with the news of his death while thanking them for remembering you both at Christmas. What would be poor manners is not telling them. This may cause embarrassment later on and that is always poor etiquette.

I am sorry for your loss and hope you allow your friends to comfort you as that is the purpose of a memorial service, providing comfort for those left behind.

Ms. Practical Etiquette

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