If I'm miffed, no gift?

An old friend of mine from school days (we see each other about once a year at best) has two kids. The oldest got married a little over a year ago. I was invited to the wedding but was out of town and unable to attend so I ordered a nice gift from her registry that was delivered to her new home. I never received an acknowledgement of any kind from the bride or her mother.


Now the younger brother is graduating from high school. I received an announcement this week with no details of the graduation, only the announcement, indicating to me I am not invited. This is actually fine as I've only seen the young man maybe three times in his life and he's never uttered two words to me.

If you haven't already guessed, the graduation announcement reopened my bad feelings from a year ago. I'm still pretty steamed over not receiving a thank you note for the graduate's sister's wedding gift. Am I obligated to send a gift to the graduate? I'm not feeling it and would prefer to just send a card and call it a day. However, I don't want to break any rules of good etiquette or else my behavior is no better than theirs.

Help please!

The Gift Horse


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Gifting Obligation
by: Ms P Etiquette

Gift Horse,

Deciding to give a gift is totally a personal choice. There is no obligatory requirement. A card would suffice in this case if you would like to send something.

Regarding the wedding gift, if it is totally out of nature for your friend not to acknowledge, is it possible it was not received? Being lifelong friends, I am sure you can find a way to bring up the subject tactfully without causing an issue.

Good luck!

Ms. Practical Etiquette

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