Is this what extended family is all about?

My sister-in-law's second husband took major offense when his 5 adult children from his first marriage, their 5 children, their boyfriends and wife weren't formally invited to my side of the family small Thanksgiving celebration my husband and I hosted in our home. None of brother-in-laws children live at home and it's been years since we've seen any of them. He made his displeasure known by sending my husband and I a nasty letter 5 months after Thanksgiving calling us ugly names and making several hurtful negative comments. This is the same sister-in-law whose only daughter was getting married, chose our daughter for her maid of honor and decided to invite friends instead of family to her wedding. It broke our hearts when we learned that our only niece didn't invite us. But we love our niece so respected and accepted her decision. It never entered our minds to think negative thoughts of her nor write an ugly letter calling her names. For our sister-in-laws sake my husband and I apologized to her husband about Thanksgiving. It makes me wonder what type of person would take such a negative view of this situation? What is your take on brother-in-law's stance and writing his letter?

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Appropriate Response
by: Ms P Etiquette

Dear Offended,

Your brother-in-law acted like a jerk. And as such, his manners were abysmal, and his critical thinking was nonexistent.

You never have to respond to this type of bullying, bad manners, offensive vocabulary, etc. Your own good manners will have you ignoring his behavior by not addressing it ... ever. If he does this again, repeat the same avoidance behavior. It takes a reaction to keep his vile flowing, so don't have one.

And shame on him!

Ms. Practical Etiquette

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