Non-invitation to friend's retirement party

My best friend is retiring at the end of this month. We worked at the same agency but at different locations. Her current co-workers would not know me. I retired two years ago. Her office is having a retirement party for her. I received a copy of the invitational email from a work-friend of a work-friend. When speaking with my best friend, I nonchalently asked if her office is doing anything. She did tell me about the party but did not provide specifics, nor said anything about my attending...didn't ask if I was going...or would I like to go. I see the initial email about her party was addressed to some acquaintances and friends she and I know. She's very popular and I assume many of them will go. I want to speak with other friends in my situation, but that's not polite. My instincts tell me I should not pursue this any further...just send her a card and wish her well. I don't want her to be mad or hurt...but mostly I don't want her to feel obligated to include me. Yet, those friends who know me, as well, will assume I will be there and when I don't show, I look like the snubber! What should I do? And if, by chance, my best friend asks for an explanation, what do I say to her? Thank you in advance.

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by: Ms P Etiquette

Dear Best Friend,

This is a sad dilemma. You repeated the term best friend over and over again in your question, so I have to assume you feel very close to her. If you two are indeed best friends, I suggest you give her a call to discuss the situation. Your only other option is to send your card and try not to take the snub personal. Perhaps the people giving the party did not ask her for an invitation list.

I wish you well.
Ms Practical Etiquette


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