Obese friends of teen children

by E. Nunes
(Providence, RI)


My daughter has a friend who I have seen grown from a large to obese over several years. Recently she stopped in to visit. She and my daughter sat at the dining room table chatting for a while and then left. Later I noticed that the chair that my daughters friend had sat on looked strange. On examination I discovered that the wooden bottom of the chair which is hidden behind fabric was broken. I've since had the chair repaired. How can I politely prevent this from happening again.

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How to Handle ...
by: Ms P Etiquette

E. Nunes:

While I appreciate your concern over the maintenance of your dining room chairs, there is little you can do to prevent it without hurting feelings, either your daughter's or her friend's. If you have an honest and direct relationship with your daughter, you might try asking her to direct her friend to a more substantial chair the next time she visits. Be kind. Do not emphasize the girls weight or imply by word or expression anything negative about her size. Simply let your daughter know you do want her friend to visit and if possible, sit in a sturdier chair.

It is never appropriate to make comments about the physical characteristics of others, for any reason.

Good luck,

Ms Practical Etiquette

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