Perplexed

by Sarah O
(Atlanta Ga)

I had a high school graduation party for my daughter. My fiancé came just as the party was starting and left before it was over saying he didn't feel well. He does this all the time we are with a lot of people. He didn't bring my daughter a gift. Am I wrong to think that he should have? This is the man I plan to spend the rest of my life with.

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Gifting
by: Ms P Etiquette

Dear Sarah,

This is a difficult one. You would think that he would feel a need to bring at least a card, but gifting is a personal choice. Perhaps you need to have a long conversation with him prior to making it permanent so that you and he are on the same page. This seems much larger than a graduation party.

Good luck!

Ms. Practical Etiquette

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Maybe there's something else here.
by: Anonymous

You said that he "does this all the time when we are around a lot of people." So, I'm wondering if he may have a problem with crowds or just feel uncomfortable making small talk with people he doesn't know well. Is he like that just with your friends or with any crowd of people. Does he have a circle of people of his own (family, friends, etc.)? This really is something you should discuss before you commit to a life together. If you like to socialize and he doesn't, you will likely find yourself declining invitations or going alone and making lame excuses for his absence. I think your issue is bigger than just the card/gift question. Just so you understand, I'm speaking from personal experience.

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