Should divorced parents split the cost of their daughters wedding?

by desiree
(phoenix,az)

My boyfriends daughter is getting married, she is planning a November 2015 wedding in the $15k range, the parents are divorced and have been for 15+ years. Her father is not wealthy by any means and is frugal when spending. He wants nothing more than to see his daughter happy. The question is that the mother of the bride and his daughter to some extent expect him to pay for the wedding entirely on his own. My thought is that in this day and age the bride and groom bear some of this responsibility and the balance be split between mother and father. Is this reasonable? What is appropriate expectations?

Thanks Cindy

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Wedding Costs
by: Ms P Etiquette

Hello Cindy,​

​The only appropriate action in this case is the plan agreed upon by the daughter's parents. There are times when the bride and groom carry some of the costs of the wedding, but this must be decided by the parents with the bride and groom. Please honor whatever decision the bride's father makes. He is the father of the bride, a position many fathers treasure.

Ms. Practical Etiquette

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Deja Vu
by: Anonymous

We had a similar situation with my husband's two daughters. Their mother had remarried, too, and in the end, we put in $5000 and the girl's mom and her husband put in $5000. One of the girls had a small affair and used leftover money toward buying a house. The younger daughter had a pretty lavish wedding but the bride and groom funded most of the difference. I suspect the bride's Mom probably gave them some additional money, too. I guess the point is, why should 100% of the wedding be up to the father? Shouldn't the mother be making a contribution, as well?

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