An older friend who expresses bigoted remarks
I have a close friend who is 20 years my senior. We are quite close and I am amazed at what she has accomplished. Recently, quite out of the blue, we touched on a subject of both welfare mothers and Mexican immigrants. She began a spirited and endless spew of horribly bigoted remarks. I was finally able to interrupt her and tell her, with my heart in my throat, that I could not continue listening to such awful remarks. Not only did I not believe her comments but that I was sickened by hearing them. Our conversation ended shortly after and we did not speak for severall weeks. This occurred over a month ago, but then tonight it happened again. My response to her remarks left no doubt that I was upset and again our conversation ended quickly. Do I continue this relationship or simply tell her that I cannot? She is a widow with a completely disabled son for whom she provides all of his care. Additionally, she has become a guardian to her two teenage grand daughters after their parents death. She volunteers about 15 hours a week at a rehab hospital and has a heart of gold. I am shocked and disappointed to find this side of her. I am at a loss as to how I communicate my discomfort, but know that when she speaks so disparagingly about a group or race of people I feel sick. If I listen to her I feel, then, that I am contributing to giving her opinions validity. I have already been very clear about how I feel about her sentiments. Your advice is most welcome.