Aunt throwing a graduation party

by Sam
(Austin, TX)


I was taken back when my s-i-l announced that she would throw a graduation part for my son and that my husband and I were invited. Oh, and my sister could come too - but no mention of my brother or other family friends.

What is the proper response? I let it pass. Now the time has come to actually plan a party and she's picked a date. We are out of town and her intention was to have one for his college friends - and that we were invited.

I personally find this rude. The approach should have been, "Would you mind if I threw a party - or would you like to throw a party for your son and have it at my house?" But that didn't happen.

What should my response be and should I attend the party. I wasn't asked to participate or provide anything.

Thank you.

Distraught over College Graduation Etiquette

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Graduation Party
by: Ms P Etiquette

Hello Sam,

You have already had your response, anger I would imagine. As far as what you say to your sister-in-law depends upon the outcome you seek. My guess is taking a defensive position will bring an undesired response from one who thinks she is doing a good thing for your son.​ ​Not everyone thinks their ideas through to conclusion before jumping in. Please give your sister-in-law the benefit of the doubt and be gracious. Behaving otherwise would indeed be poor manners on your part. Remember, this is for your son, not your brother or family friends. I hope you can enjoy it.

Ms. Practical Etiquette​

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