different twins

by mom of trouble twins

We have twins and 1 graduated from high school this year. The other graduated from a continuation school 6 months ago after getting pregnant at 15. Add to the mix that she still has behavior problems, has run away multiple times and currently is living with other family members and not talking to us. We are raising her baby.

How do we handle a party to celebrate one twins achievements when the other twin is struggling and not achieving the same success? How do we respond to family who feel the one deserves the same recognition for lesser goals from us?

Mom of trouble twins in Tucson

Comments for different twins

Average Rating starstarstarstarstar

Click here to add your own comments

by: Ms P Etiquette

Dear Mom,

Wow! This is really a complex situation, isn't it?

While there often are situations involving twins that bring up the "equality" issue, I do not feel this is one of them. Achievements belong to an individual and these are not toddlers. Just be certain your lesser achieving daughter knows you love her as much as her twin and will be happy to throw her a party when it is appropriate. Invite her to come help her sibling celebrate. It would be unfair and rude to curtail the activities planned for one twin in order to appease the other.

I am very sorry for your situation and hope your family can get back together one day. Please remember that your troubled child probably needs your love more because of her deficit. She must feel awful about herself, whether she shows it or not. Anger is frequently the cover up of fear and hurt. 15 is so very young to have had her experiences and she faces much more in her future.

Tell other family members that your children are individuals, each needing different help from you and that you are going forward with the party. They may not understand, but you do.

Good luck,
Ms. Practical Etiquette​

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Miss Manners.

Page copy protected against web site content infringement by Copyscape

Search Our
Family of Sites

Translate the Page

Find Your Roots


Follow Us on

Become a
Facebook Fan