Engagement dinner

by Lisa
(Vineland)

My husbands oldest son from a previous marriage is getting married. His wife to be and him invited us to a restaurant to celebrate the engagement at a restaurant of their choice. 2 days before the dinner my husbands son calls up and says his wife to be 's parents are paying too much for the wedding and we need to pay for the dinner. They didn't even ask us they told us. We can't afford this. Why didn't they give us ample notice? This is so wrong. We don't even feel like going now.

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Engagement Party
by: Ms P Etiquette

​Hello Lisa,

I agree this is a bit messy. Blended families bring many challenges, weddings being one of the big ones! Why the last minute change in arrangements? I have no idea. My guess is that the son and his bride invited you both to the restaurant before considering the budget and are now in this position. If the bride's family is giving the engagement dinner, traditionally that is their expense. The dinner following the wedding rehearsal is usually hosted by the groom's family. Having said that, if you cannot afford to go, then that is your answer. Gently explain this to the wedding couple and wish them well. Let them know you wish you could attend, but such short notice caught you off guard. I wish you luck with this one!

Ms. Practical Etiquette

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