Grown nephew's family and Aunt's birthday

by Helen

Our family is small and we have always met for lunch for each other's birthdays. As the Aunt lived out of town for several years and had not had a birthday luncheon with the family for quite awhile, she invited them to join her for lunch at a restaurant (a family tradition). As customary in the family, each family pays for their own dinner. Request for no gifts, just for a "family hug" was put on the invite.

At the luncheon, the nephew's wife subtly suggested they maybe they could get together for "just because" reasons other than birthdays. However, the nephew's family never invites the Aunt unless it is her young son's birthday where there is 20 plus children running around at an event venue. Aunt is confused and assumes the nephew's family no longer wants to be invited to Aunt's birthday luncheon.

Money is not an issue for anyone on the family. Aunt makes a phone or sends card to nephew, wife and great nephew on their birthdays even though she is not invited to their birthdays. The Aunt never expects anything from anyone only a hug occasionally. She does not keep count of who does what when.

Aunt is not sure what to make of all this and is hurt as the Aunt's parent's have died, and she only has one son and one sister left. This is her only family.

Need some objective advice.

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by: Ms P Etiquette


I had to read this twice to really follow who said what to whom.... However, someone needs to let the Aunt know her birthday is special to the family and they look forward to doing it again next year. Inclusion is always so much easier than exclusion, isn't it.

Ms. Practical Etiquette​

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