House Guests Quandry

by Steinmaster

Dear Miss Practical Manners,

Seven years ago we traveled to Spain at a friend's invitation to stay and visit for two weeks. He was a terrific host and took us to many cities and sights and it was a wonderful vacation. Expenses were mutually shared. Since then this friend has visited here in the States two times and has spent some time with us while here.
This friend and a companion are now coming to visit for a month over the Holidays and will be with us the entire time at our apartment in NYC and our home in PA. We have already purchased theater and ballet tickets and planned other events while they are here as our guests and we look forward to their visit.

In the interim, we have been invited to dear friends for a small intimate Holiday dinner party while our guests are visiting. Our house guests are not invited to attend this intimate affair. I indicated we would attend but my spouse has since informed me it would be rude to leave our guests, even for one night. We have a business associate who is a mutual friend of our house guests and will likewise be attending the theater, ballet, etc. with us and will be spending plenty of time with them as well while they are here so it is not like we are cutting them loose to fend for themselves for an evening as they will be in his company that night. They are not shrinking violets and are world travelers. I personally do not think we need to hold their hands 24/7 for a month.

Under the circumstances, is it acceptable to attend the Holiday dinner party?

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Private Party
by: Ms P Etiquette

Hello Steinmaster,

I see no reason why you cannot attend a private dinner without your house guests as long as they are informed before their arrival at your home. Of course, it would be rude if you told them quite suddenly that they were not invited to a dinner party that you were attending. As long as you have made certain your house guests are occupied during your absence, please go and enjoy yourselves.

Ms. Practical Etiquette

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