Inviting Married Nephew & His Wife

(New York)

Dear Miss Manners:

Generally, shouldn't married children living separately from their parents receive their own invitation to family gatherings like Thanksgiving and other holidays? Perhaps the parents should be invited first and then the adult children, knowing that the children will likely spend it with the parents. I invited my husband's brother and wife and then said I planned to invite the children separately (marrieds age 29, single ones ages 23 and 27). Everyone got bent out of shape thinking I was overreaching with the direct contact. How should such invitations be handled.

Also is it OK to invite adult nephews and nieces without the parents to come to dinner or to get together otherwise? Thank you for your guidance.

Much appreciated!

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by: Ms P Etiquette

Hello New York,

Usually each family handles this type of invitation in their way​, but I've never heard of an invitation extended to family as an over reach. There are options, of course. Address invitations to the parents, adding "and family" to the address. Don't forget to ask for RSVP so you know how many are coming. However, inviting adult "children" through an invitation to their own address is proper etiquette. The goal here is to have everyone at the gathering, not to decide who is right, so go with the flow if you must!

Carry on!
Ms. Practical Etiquette

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