Left off the guest list

by elizabeth
(Bush, la)

our best friends had a dinner party for seven couples on Friday night. My husband and I were intentionally left off the guest list because they felt that this group of people were a different set of friends from us. With that being said, half the people that attended the party were old friends of ours that we have known for over 20 years that they have just recently become friends with through a card club. My question is, they had this huge dinner party and now have a plethora of leftovers. We are now invited to come today to help them clean out the refrigerator and consume all the leftovers from their party. In my view this is in very bad taste and we should decline the invitation. My husband says we should swallow our pride, be gracious and except the invitation and go and eat the food. What is the proper way to handle this.

Jilted party guest

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by: Ms P Etiquette

Hello Elizabeth,

​My,my! I am not sure where to begin. Reframing your qu​estion may be helpful. You want to know if it is appropriate for you to accept an invitation to dinner from friends who did not send you an invitation to a previous dinner? If I've gotten the inquiry right, it seems to me the only invitation that has meaning is the one you actually received. If you wish to accept, go ahead. There is nothing inappropriate with that.
If, however, you are asking my opinon about the missing dinner invitation, I have none. Your friends are free to invite whomever they wish to their home and you are free to accept an invitation or not. The only rule of etiquette that applies here is the one prohibiting you from behaving in a manner that makes others at the gathering uncomfortable. If you have a resentment about the perceived snub, then accept the invitation carefully.

Ms. Practical Etiquette

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