“Let it go “

by Connie
(TX , USA)

Should I let my nephew know , his mom ( my sis #2 )) didn’t invite us to wedding . My sis is handing out invitations to close family members , despite bride & groom present & could have delivered invites themselves. I saw her with my own eyes , since she did it in front of me at church of all places. I have been very close to sister #2 , but this year we have distant ourselves. She acts all holier than thou , she is better , knows better , etc. I don’t always see eye to eye with her, since she don’t approve of my husband. She speaks down to him despite we ( spouse & me ) are college grads & she is not. When our dad passed away (7 yrs ago ), we decided sis #6 was going to get Veteran Flag , however it was presented to sis #1. Sis #1 said she was taking flag to Chicago BUT would return it, since she wanted to bond with Dad’s flag. We have mentioned her returning flag , & excuse after excuse . Lately she said , she never agreed for sis #6 getting flag. I feel sis #2 & sis #3 condone sis #1 behavior & don’t mention anything to sis #1,because when I bring up the topic, you can hear a pin drop. Sis #6 keeps telling me to “let it go “. But I can’t . I have a problem & hold grudges that affect our family. My nephew is getting married & we aren’t invited because sis #2 is excluding us out , not due to space, out of town or $$. Cuz she hand delivered invitation to my out of town niece (6 hrs away ) while we were at church. Mind you , we only live ten minutes away from sis #2 ,#3 & sis #6. Sister #5 wants nothing to do with family ( NE).Sometimes , I just want to move far away from family like sis #5. I have a good relationship with groom to be . Sister #6 invited but not attending due to “ no kids allowed “ . What should I do ?

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Wedding Invitations
by: Ms P Etiquette

Connie,

This is a very delicate issue. Wedding invitation lists rarely leaves those not invited happy, and, unfortunately, there needs to be cuts somewhere.

That being said, this seems to be a different issue, where Sis #2 may have a different reason. Regarding the flag, I understand your focus on what is the right thing, but as the sister who was supposed to get it told you to let it go, let it go. There is nothing to be gained.

Regarding the wedding, you have to make a decision if you want to confront Sis #2 and, in a very polite way, ask if there might have been an oversight in you not getting an invitation. Be prepared for a negative if you choose to go that route. If she did intentionally leave you out, then you must be willing to let it go and not create a scene. That will be difficult, but you do not want to be the one that puts a damper on your nephew's wedding. Again, if you choose to ask Sis#2, be prepared to acknowledge and walk away from a fight.

Good luck.

Ms. Practical Etiquette

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