Persona non grata

by Joanie
(New Jersey)

My nephew, who was my favorite nephew, has a fiancee who I had a run in with about 6 months ago. Now, I am not invited to the wedding because "she doesn't like me." She was in the wrong, because she is very bossy and nosy and tried to give me unwanted advice about an issue I was having with my sister (my nephew's mom) and I wasn't having it. (My sister and I subsequently got over the problem on our own.) I am now pretty hurt as I will be the only one in my family not going to the wedding. My sister says that the finacee has the say in who comes or doesn't come since it's her wedding. Is it fair that she is allowed to be petty and spiteful and effectively ban me from seeing all my relatives - we rarely get together as they mostly live far away - as well as my 95 year old (favorite) aunt who will be there and lives far away. I can arrange to see her apart from the wedding, but I mean this ostracism doesn't seem mature or acceptable. What should I do, if anything (no, I am not going to extend any olive branches to this awful woman, who I really do not like) and I can't understand what my relationship will be with my nephew going forward. Or even my sister, who could have insisted I be invited, but did not.

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Family Complexity
by: Ms P Etiquette

Joanie,

This is a vey sad story. If this is to be fixed, you will need to fix it. It is the bride's day and if you do want to participate in her day, you will need to take the initiative. So your choice is to either let things be, or take the initiative and speak to her and settle the subject. It ultimately may not get you invited to the wedding, but at least settle the differences.

Best of luck,
Ms. Practical Etiquette

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puzzled
by: Anonymous

So the fact that this is petty and vindictive should not be brought to the bride-to-be's attention? Certainly not by me...

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