Rude step daughter never thank you or respect

by marcia
(virginia)

My husbands second daughter by his second ex wife has really been a selfish women for far too long. He is given her much help with her money, support issues and has given her chances time and again with her life to move forward. But never a thank your or respect back. I learned fast not to be apart of her issue after she pulled a fast one on me and my family. We had paid for her collage and room n board her first year she the. failed out and never said thank you!

After her marriage two years ago. We felt she was growing up and moving forward. Got our invite but other family member never got invited so we called then a a few family members came a long way and went. It was a lovely wedding, we had fun. Just stayed away from drama and husband ex wife drama, but we found out no invites were sent to husband side of family, or mine and no thank you notes for gifts sent from our family and friends sent to our side of the families. She keep saying she was doing them then nothing.. I gave up and told my husband I was done with her..
Now she is pregos and has little monies, no job, husband is clueless of monies and has three other kids by marriage we just found out and again asking for monies from us. This time Her father said NO and keeps saying no.

I have keep my mouth shut and am not going there with this. I have parkinsons and she never says anything or supports me. So I now strongly feel she is selfish ignorant young lady. Through the years I have tried to be the good step mom and supportive. But after her bio mother acted mean to me for the first time at the wedding, ( retard bitch) rude comment solidified her insecure actions. I was in shock and hurt. We heard the bio mother had thrown out the wedding invites to our side of the family because we are losers. We are very educated and have great jobs and Christian.. We now see red and we are now done with this red neck low class act.

She just sent us a Baby shower invite. I am not going and don't even want a send a gift. I told my husband and he said he understands. But my heart does break for him. My husband is mad as a bee and will not talk about it or ignore the subject of her all together now. He said the other day he will never see his grandchild Bc of the bio mother and silly nonsense. He is hurt poor guy When she calls he just acts nice but never confronts at her antics he is really done. Sad .

Question: what is the manners or proper thing to do about this whole baby shower? I am just stumped!! Help

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Family Relationships
by: Ms P Etiquette

Marcia,

The best way to handle this is probably to see a family therapist. This is not an etiquette question, especially when your question contains name calling like "retard bitch". Obviously, there is anger and resentment within your family that needs attention. I wish you success if you try this therapeutic path.

Ms. Practical Etiquette​

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