Snubbed at Sea

by Ann
(Maryland)

My niece is 39 yo. Her first child was a boy and she leaned on my heavily to guide her through all the aspects of having him baptized. I purchased all the attire and gave her all necessary information for a proper Catholic baptism. Now, she's had her second child, a girl. She sent a photo of a $300 gown she'd like. I told her I liked it but it was just cotton and would wrinkle just like the first child's did and that I was a little disappointed about that and suggested a nicer material for a girl w polyester or a non-wrinkling material. She didn't make me aware of the baptism until 2 wks before the event. Ever since I'm not buying the $300 gown she's ignored every text I've sent her inquiring whether she liked the other dress or if I could help in any way and she won't answer me at all. I asked, "have u ordered the gown yet?" She replied, "I'm too busy." I said, "can I help?" No reply. I found out through my nephew, her brother, "She is just way too busy." Now, she's having 2 Godmother's for this child, one is a friend of her deceased mother and the other is her friend and husband. When I told my brother of the situation, his reply was, "she's busy, leave her alone." So, I certainly haven't been badgering her, simply not buying what she wanted and offered a dress i would buy that she must not like and won't tell me. My husband feels we shouldn't attend if she continues to ignore me and my brother said leave her alone. Should I attend the baptism? I just wanted to know if she's ordered any dress at all but she won't respond for one week now and the baptism is next Sunday.

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Attending the Baptism
by: Ms P Etiquette

Hi Anne,

Thank you for your question. Let me first say that your niece is a bit presumptuous that you should buy her anything, let alone a $300 baptism gown. You seem like a very generous person … perhaps to a fault. I would take your brother's advice and leave her alone. Your niece should be treating you better than she is, regardless of "how busy she is". That being said, if your would like to attend the Baptism, then do so. It is the child's Baptism, not the mother's. Should yo decide to attend, I would suggest you not bring up anything about the dress, and instead, enjoy the day.

Ms. Practical Etiquette

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