Sweet 16 day out fun - is it rude to exclude younger cousins?

by Kady Snyder
(Los Banos, CA)

So my daughter is having a day out with 10 of her closest friends for her 16th birthday. Her friends consist of girls and guys 16-17 years old. She has one cousin she is very close to who is 13, and that cousin has a sister who is 10. As is, we are already cutting out other friends to make 10, and does not include her 2 younger cousins i just mentioned. Is it rude to exclude them, or do i have to take two of her friends out and extend the invite to them as well? My thing is, though the age gap isn't an issue for just the two of them, when pooled together as a group with high schoolers, i feel like the dynamics will change. In my heart, i feel as though the two cousins will be more like tag alongs that may get left out during the time out. Any suggestions? Am i wrong for considering to leave them out? If not, how do i present this to the inlaws without hurting feelings?

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Sweet 16 Invitation List
by: Ms P Etiquette

Hi Kady,

Thank you for your question. It is always hard to decide who is on and who is off when it comes to celebrations. At the end of the day, you and your daughter have to make that decision. Does your daughter want them included with her much older friends (as 16 vs. 13 and 10, it is a big difference). Consider what the itinerary will be. Is it something a 13 and 10 year old would be interested in? As far as how to tell the in-laws, is there a plan for a separate "Happy Birthday" party for family only? If so, that is a way to explain that this one is for your daughter's friends only. If not, simply lay out the age difference and that should suffice. There really is no great way to do this. Honesty is the best way to do this.

Enjoy your daughter's Sweet 16!

Ms. Practical Etiquette

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