Death in the Family

We've RSVP'd for my husband and me to attend a formal wedding out of town in Dallas, Tx this weekend, The bride is a high school classmate of our oldest daughter who will be in the house party. My husband's cousin passed away this week however and he wishes (understandably) to attend the funeral in yet another town. Do we both need to cancel our attendance? OR since I would like to attend the wedding, yet prefer not to attend alone, would it be okay to ask our 18 year old son to go with me. Should we first ask the bride or bride's mother? It seems like they would understand the dilemma.

Lael Cordes-Pitts
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Things to Consider
by: Ms P Etiquette

Now this is a question I do not often see! Practically speaking, you and your husband must decide if you are needed at the funeral. If not, then going to the wedding sounds like much more fun! However, if this is a formal wedding with a few days of celebration and touring prior to the wedding, good manners tells us that the invitation was meant for the those to whom it is addressed. Taking an escort without the host's permission is inappropriate, no matter who the uninvited guest may be. However, asking for permission can be tricky too. It will all depend upon your relationship with the host. If you do not know each other well, it can be awkward to broach the topic with a stranger. This will put him/her in an uncomfortable situation, especially if they must say no to your request. Most guest lists for formal occasions are carefully planned with regard to the mix of guests, table settings, etc. You will have to use some good practical common sense to determine your course of action before you can move forward with this.

Good luck.

Ms Practical Etiquette

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