dinner invitation to mom and dad's on minor holiday

by Maggie
(New York)

A week and a half in advance, I asked my son and daughter in law to come for dinner on a minor holiday. My son said he had asked his uncle to visit and gave him three possible days (one of which was the day I asked my son to visit us). I felt that my son should tell his uncle that that date wasnt open anymore. He still had two dates to pick from. My son said he thought that wasnt proper etiquette. Who is right?

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Invitation Etiquette
by: Ms P Etiquette

Hello Maggie,

This is certainly an interesting question. Does the invitation offered to another family member stay in the primary position if 3 dates were offered and none chosen, especially if an invitation to dinner from mom is on one of the three dates?


Good manners dictate the first invitation be resolved before your son can accept a conflicting invitation. It is acceptable for him to call his uncle asking which date he has selected for his visit. If Uncle has not chosen the same date as your invitation, then your son is free to accept your invitation. However, if your son is not comfortable pushing his uncle for a date, then he must wait to see what happens before he an accept your invitation.


It seems your son is correct in his interpretation of proper etiquette!

Ms Practical Etiquette

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