Gifts and Money

by Mrs S
(Escondido, CA, USA)

After a very trying week at work I anonymously bought and distributed boxes of candy to some co-workers in the office as a "keep up your spirits" kind of gift. One of the co-workers figured out that it was me and gave me two dollars for his box of candy (which by the way is more than I paid for it). I was a little offended because it was a gift, and a gift that was supposed to be annoymous for that very reason. I did not want recognition or repayment, just to see everyone's shoulders relax a little. Do I have a right to be a little put off by that? And also, I don't want his money (even though he does earn more than I do) but I don't want to be rude or offend him by insisting on him taking it back. I thought about just buying him more candy with it but I don't want to create a cycle. What do I do here?

Thank you!

Comments for Gifts and Money

Average Rating starstarstarstarstar

Click here to add your own comments

What a wonderful thought
by: Miss P Etiquette

Dear Mrs. S,

What a lovely gift you chose to give your co-workers! Every office should have more recognition for extra effort.

While I understand your disappointment when your cover was blown, I doubt it lessened the meaningfulness of your gift. And when one has trouble receiving from others, the discomfort is theirs, not yours. You cannot force anyone to be a gracious recipient anymore than you can turn a miser into a philanthropist!

Your intent is not marred by his offer of money since that is his issue, not yours. You need not feel he has ruined your anonymous gift giving, he is just uncomfortable, trying to fix his feelings by undoing the gift. Put his money to good use by donating it to your favorite cause.

If the intent of your gift was to lift the spirits of your co-workers, then your mission was accomplished.

Relax and enjoy it!

Miss Practical Etiquette

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Miss Manners.

Page copy protected against web site content infringement by Copyscape

Search Our
Family of Sites

Translate the Page

Find Your Roots

Meet Your Ancestors

Follow Us on

Become a
Facebook Fan