graduation gift for nephew when my sister spoke badly of me

My sister stopped speaking to me two years ago. The details are lengthy and childish on her behalf. Since then she has told our parents that I never treated her children well. She has three children and I have none. I took two on an all expense paid cruise, always gave birthday and holiday gifts, gave to school fundraisers, got one son a job at the firm I worked, etc. I know her statement is ridiculous but it hurt very badly. Now she has sent an invitation to my nephew's graduation. I'm at a loss. For someone who has never treated her children well and doesn't speak to me, what am I expected to do?

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by: Ms P Etiquette

Dear Sister,

It is a shame when sisters “break up” and stop speaking. It can be a great loss to them both. You cannot control what anyone says about you, whether you know what is being said or not. I know that an feel frustrating and infuriating. If your nephew is still on speaking terms with you, then he deserves to be treated as an innocent bystander to this feud and not as the perpetrator. If you can attend the graduation with an open heart, then go. If you are too resentful to attend and be honestly happy for him and the family, then perhaps you can just send him a nice handwritten note explaining your absence and wish him success. I wish you a calm heart!

Ms. Practical Etiquette

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