How much is too much?

My son and his fiancee are marrying next spring. She is a lovely person and we are delighted to have her join our family. The very night that our son proposed, his fiancee asked if they could be married in the backyard of our lakefront home. We are pleased and glad to do this.

Her parents are victims of this very bad economy and have told her they will not be able to afford to help them with the wedding expenses. My husband and I have decided to cover most of the expenses as we do not want them to go into debt to have the wedding they want.

All this being said, how closely do we need to follow the "rules"of etiquette since so much of the responsibility is on our shoulders?

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Wedding Gift
by: Ms P Etiquette

Mother and Father of the Groom,

Your willingness to help provide the dream wedding for your son and his fiance is certainly generous. It also gives you permission to be involved in the wedding planning on a more intimate level than usual. However, before you begin please decide the role each of you will play. When one gives a gift such as this, one cannot assume to have any control over the manner in which the funds are used without agreement with the bride, groom and the bride's parents. Once your role in the planning of the event is defined in harmony with the others, your actions will be within the rules of etiquette.

Please remember that a gift is something given freely so there is no need to control its use without mutual agreement.

Good luck,

Ms Practical Etiquette

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