how to tell my daughter i wont be attending her bridal shower

by Debra

My daughter's wedding shower is being held at her father's home, which is my ex-husband. I would never consider going into his home. It is crossing the line for me. How do I explain to my daughter I won't be attending without her being upset with me. I am upset that she didn't take into consideration if I would mind or not but it's her choice and I will not let it ruin our relationship.

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by: Ms P Etiquette


I am sad for you and your situation. How disappointing it must be to have your previous relationship with your ex-husband so interfere with the joyous celebration of your daughter's wedding at her bridal shower.

If you cannot for your daughter's sake possibly attend, please have an honest talk with her explaining your reasoning and asking her forgiveness for missing the shower. If she is upset with you as a consequence of your actions you will have to accept that as the price you are both paying for this situation. She will continue paying a high price for her parents' failed relationship.

Many former spouses can move on without the emotional crippling that is preventing your sharing your daughter's precious moments with her. I hope you experience a healing of your heart sooner rather than later so you can enjoy your daughter, her new husband and their life together - and perhaps grandchildren, which you will share with her father as well.

Take care.

Ms Practical Etiquette

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