"Money" only Bridal Shower

by Karen
(Fayetteville)


How appropriate is it to ask for money only for a Bridal Shower and Wedding gift. The couple have lived together for 10 years and this will be their 1st wedding.

They are renting and would like to use the money towards a down payment on a house.

What do you think?? If its okay to have this shower, how would you word it. Thanks

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Interesting Question
by: Ms P Etiquette

Karen:

This question is interesting to me because it brings up a discussion about the true purpose of a bridal shower. I do believe the bridal shower was designed to help the bride collect needed household items she would need to start a new home. This house or apartment would be new to both bride and groom so it would be empty without the gifts of pots, pan, dishes, towels, etc. There was a time when this was an essential component of the marriage process, especially since brides no longer came with dowries.

Clearly the man and woman you described in your question do not fit this image. In fact, they have a 10 year history together in the same home where I assume they have all they need to operate comfortably.

My suggestion would be to have a "help us buy a house" shower, asking for money. At least that would not seem to be a breach of etiquette and may be an amusing way to have a party.

I do not know how you ask wedding guests to bring money. Most couples who are already together have "no gifts please" on their wedding invitations. However, if the bride and groom are comfortable asking their guests for money, then it may be worth a try.

Asking for money instead of gifts stops being appropriate after a child has finished high school. So this is new territory for me.

Good Luck!

Ms Practical Etiquette
Response
by: Anonymous

Yes, they are renting and the money received would be used to help with a down payment for a house.

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