Permanent housequests and invitations.

A dear friend has moved her sister into her home. This friend expects that her sister be included in all invitations that she is extended. The sister is whiny, self centered and acts childish for attention. My friend arranges all of her sister's invites..brings her along to all meetings, lunches etc. Whereas I understand my friend wants to introduce her around and get her to meet people..this sister will do nothing to arrange her own outings, make her own friends etc. I hate to lose a friend over this and I am not the only one in our circle that feels that way. I just feel that my friend has put us all between a rock and hard place...we want to be with her but do not want to have her sister around all the time because of the way she acts. By moving her into her forces everyone to include the sister or risk offending our friend. Any suggestions Our friend has really changed since the sister moved in and has dropped a lot of the friends since the move in.


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House Guest
by: Ms P Etiquette

After re-reading your message to me, I still am not sure what I can do for you. Inviting a houseguest along with a friend is proper etiquette. There is more gray area when the houseguest becomes a permanent member of the family. And if the houseguest is annoying others, you may have to find a way to mention this to your friend. The change in your friend's domestic situation seems to have caused a cascade of reactions, with friends being dropped and group discussions about the poor behavior of the sister. A good friend can take the time to discuss the situation with a "dear friend" without insulting either the friend or the sister. Talking behind one's back is dishonest and never ends well. Speaking from the practical etiquette view, including the sister is appropriate unless it begins to alienate others. It is about this that you need to consult with your dear friend. Be compassionate and open minded so a solution can be found. Your friend may be having a difficult time adjusting to the new household arrangement and perhaps could use your help?

Ms Practical Etiquette

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