Son's Girlfriend & Husbands 50th birthday celebration?

Our sons girlfriend is not being invited to my husbands 50th birthday celebration.
She was included in our Christmas holiday with immediate family and her behavior was unacceptable. Drinking, inappropriate behavior and language, lack of gratitude for trip to Hawaii and gifts.

We spoke to our son about our concerns and disapproval of her decisive actions as well. My husband also spoke to both our son and girlfriend during the holiday when their collective behavior affected the entire family. We have included her in several social situation with family and friends and have been stunned with her behavior.
Realizing our real focus should be "why would our son believe this is what he deserves"

Our son is invited to the celebration and we have explained why she is not included. She has no boundaries, filters and zero respect for our family standards for conduct and behavior.
Our son does not know how to let her know he is going to be with his father for his birthday, but she is not invited.

What advice should we give him.

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Son's Decision
by: Ms P Etiquette

Dear Mother,

I do not understand why you want to give your advice. Your position on the matter is apparent.

Clearly, his girlfriend is not one of your favorite people; apparently for very good reasons. Your son has been told how you feel and seems to understand your position.

That is all the advice he needs. It is his decision to come to the party alone or not at all. He is an adult who can figure it out for himself. You will learn a lot about his character by the way he handles this one. Frankly, if his girlfriend is the disaster you describe, I am surprised that he has trouble telling her she is not invited unless he does not agree with you?

Did you tell him his behavior was also out of line? Has he promised to behave if he comes to the party? Does he often misbehave in social settings? There is so much more information that would be illuminating if this were to actually be analysed.

So I say relax, enjoy the lovely birthday party and let him work it out for himself.

Thank you for this most interesting inquiry.

Ms. Practical Etiquette

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