by Francis Anderson
(Citrus Heights,Ca. U.S.A.)

Hello, I have a girlfriend I've known over 30 yrs. She's now a retired 2nd grade teacher. Every time we get together for a visit or lunch out etc. Her voice is soooooo loud I get all tensed up and I just want to run away and hide. I'm retired also we live close to each other but I'm getting to not want to be around her as much. I was thinking of telling her older sister about this situation. I'm not sure how to deal with her??? Should I just say SHHHHHH to her and say your a little loud for my ears? Or just krenge and bear it? Fran

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Be Honest
by: Ms P Etiquette


You are a good friend to seek a solution. Has she had this loud voice over the last 30 years of your friendship? Or is it new and perhaps the result of some illness or injury involving her hearing?

In any case, if you wish to continue seeing her I suggest you tell her how you feel directly rather than through a third party. Be kind. Let her know you are talking with her because you care for her and do not want this one thing to interfere with your good times together. Once you begin I believe the rest will be easy. Just let her know you care for her just as she is, but you are having auditory distress which she probably did not realize. You two can come to an understanding and compromise so you can continue your friendship in comfort.

Thank you for this interesting question, Fran.

Ms Practical Etiquette

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