Transitioning Etiquette rules?

by Confused & Concerned
(California)

How can I relay the importance of etiquette without creating ill will or embarrassment?
How to respond to a "vow ceremony" invitation with an enclosed gift registry card?

I don't know if this is a new trend ceremony for couples that have been living together and do not intend to or have not married in a religious ceremony or what.

The response card was addressed but no stamp. If they have previously married, it would be less than a year.

Is there a way to respond tactfully without mailing an etiquette book to them?

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RSVP & Gift Giving
by: Ms P Etiquette

Dear Confused,

This is a thought provoking inquiry. If I understand correctly, you are asking if you should RSVP to this invitation, even if it lacks a stamp. Yes, please respond within the proper time frame with your own stamp on the envelope.

I also hear your dilemma regarding gift giving. Here is the rule of thumb for all gift giving; give from your heart and not from someone's elses suggestion. There is no reason for you to respond directly to the gift registry card, nor to correct the manners of the happy couple. Simply ignore it. Whether to give a gift at all, or what to give is a personal choice of the giver. Consider the registry card a suggestion only.

Proper manners require one never cause the embarrassment of others. There is no need for etiquette lessons if you follow proper etiquette yourself. Good examples can be the best teacher.


Thank you.
Ms Practical Etiquette

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