Voice Lesson interruption

by Sara
(Minnesota)



My daughter has a weekly private voice lesson at school with her choir director. The girl that is scheduled to come in for the next voice lesson always arrives early. This would certainly be fine, except that she sits in the room and sings the songs along with my daughter, even sometimes walking to the piano and trying to plunk out the melody. My daughter has asked her to wait until her own lesson starts to sing as it irritates her. This is her time she feels to work on her piece for competition and she would never do this to somebody else. The problem is, the girl, even having been asked this more than once, continues to do this. Even more irritating, is the choir director actually said to her yesterday something to the effect that my daughter needs to go "more with the flow". Should my daughter just ignore this girl? I feel this other girl isn't being taught to respect others and that this just isn't proper by allowing her to do it week after week.

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Let's try to simplify ...
by: Ms P Etiquette

Dear Sara~

There are many aspects to your situation that make this complicated. Let's see if we can simplify.

From a practical etiquette point of view, it is rude for the girl to ignore your daughter's request if this is "private" lesson and your daughter asked her in a direct manner.

Do other kids take private lessons from this choir director? If so, do they allow other students to join in their private time? In other words, is this situation unique to your daughter or the norm? I ask because the response of the choir director seems to imply that your daughter is more rigid about this than other students. It also shows there are no rules preventing this intrusion.

In life, each of us may request that events in our lives follow our wishes, thereby making us comfortable. But we certainly cannot force others to accommodate us. It may be this environment is not structured enough for your daughter. This also may be an opportunity for her to practice her music while ignoring interruptions or distractions. Could this be the silver lining?

Good luck to your daughter in her competition!


Ms Practical Etiquette


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