Wedding RSVP

by michelle
(ohio)

Dilemma: First let me start with- My boyfriend Sean has a cousin (Nathan) who he’s close with in person. They don’t really talk on the phone or hang. But they always chat it up and are really tight when they are together at family functions.


Sean’s cousin sent us a seriously beautiful wedding invitation. Like the kind a calligrapher wrote out, custom artwork, gold leaf etc….The menu options are Filet, Roasted Chicken, Salmon…..no vegetarian choices. Is it tacky that I make a small note to have a vegetarian meal. I’ve looked online and it’s 50/50. The reception is at the Ritz. I do not want to be “that girl”. I also will not eat any of the options given. I thought about just choosing the chicken (cheapest) and then giving the meat to Sean but what if the meat juices get all over the other stuff. Then I won’t eat any of it. It’s not about being a brat either. I can eat before, I go that’s no problem. The meal will just be a wasted plate though . I won’t reply “No food for me thanks”. That’s weird. I’m sure it’s costing them over $25 a plate. So here’s what I was thinking. I RSVP reply with Sean’s selection and I make a small note asking to please have a vegetarian meal. That way they have the card, with the selection for their count. Then I send a thank you note. I include how beautiful the invitation is and IT IS along with an apology for any inconvenience my request may cause. Explain that any meat free side dish or vegetable that is already being served is perfect as my meal. Then I make sure to thank them for inviting me. Is that tacky?

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Veg Request
by: Ms P Etiquette

Hello Michelle,

When asked your preference for a meal from a preset selection, simply state, "I am a vegetarian". The caterer will most likely provide you with a plate of steamed veggies, at the very least. Do not "ask for a vegetarian meal". That would be unacceptable. If you wish to do so, send
a thank you after wedding. Do not bring attention to yourself with a note to the bride before the event. She has enough on her mind.

I am a vegetarian myself and understand how awkward it can be in this meat eating world, but being discreet with requests usually works nicely.

Have fun!

Ms Practical Etiquette

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