What should I d when I'm not invited to my grandson's Baptism because of my former spouse?

by Chris

My step daughter called and said that my husband and I and the rest of his family would not be invited to her son's Baptism because of hard feelings from a divorce 17 years ago. She said that this would be the last event, but I feel the most important, that we would be excluded from. We already had a shower planned for her the following weekend and she said she was still looking forward to that. I want a relationship with her and our grandson but what do I do or say?

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A Delicate Situation
by: Ms P Etiquette


Family fragmentation is difficult for everyone involved. My advice is to keep your eye on your goal, which seems to be maintaining a relationship with your stepdaughter and grandson.

Every interaction you have with her will either help you reach this goal or drive you away from it. Keep in mind that your stepdaughter is doing a balancing act since she is in the middle of this controversy. That is a very difficult task. However, if you are the one who goes along without complaint, giving the shower with love and sincerity, you just may be the winner after all. Be consistently polite and caring, never criticize ANYONE in the family no matter what is said and be kind. I know your stepdaughter will appreciate your demonstration of love for her and her son. She has enough stress over her husband's 17 year old grudge!!

Congratulations on your new grandson!

Ms Practical Etiquette

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